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The Untold Tales of the Great Deep
Sea Monster, via Pinterest
Thanks for dropping by and thanks for the feedback!
Introduction to the Eyeball Guy
Hi there! I'm Clay Buchanan and I am a senior (kind of I am going to take an extra semester...) at OU! I am a Biology Pre-Optometry major and am going to start applying to Optometry schools Summer 2021! You probably can agree with me when I say that eyes are really weird, but at the same time I think they are super interesting and am excited for a future in optometry. I chose this as my major because I knew I wanted to both interact with and help people, and after working at a clinic in Norman I knew it was the job for me. Outside of my school life, I am a pretty predictable guy. I am a proud Christian, I live and breathe sports, and love time with my friends and family. When I am not working or dealing with schoolwork, you can probably find me on the couch watching whatever game is on, no matter the time of day. I don't care if it is foreign soccer in a language I don't even understand, I love following, watching and playing sports. If I could sit down and have a meal wi...
Hi Clay!
ReplyDeleteI read your storybook title, and thought it sounded interesting, but I became so intrigued when I read your introduction! The first Pirates movie was one of my very favorites when I was a kid, so I'm excited to read more adventures of Captain Jack Sparrow! Will you be focusing entirely on his childhood or will it be a mixture of periods in his life? I can't wait to read more from your storybook!
Hey Clay!
ReplyDeleteI was totally surprised when I started to read your introduction! I was expecting generic sea monster stories, most certainly not the beloved Jack Sparrow! Growing up, those films were amongst my favorite and I am glad to see an expansion of his tales! Will all of the stories have to do with sea creatures, or will some have themes along the lines of Dead Man's Chest, where there is a personified antagonist? Will we face sirens or other tempters of the open sea? Also, will you make note of when these stories fall into the greater timeline of established Sparrow tales? One note about the website format: the text on your introduction page is quite close together and small, making it very hard to read and keep track of where you are. I would recommend breaking the single paragraph into a few, smaller ones with larger text. This should increase readability and add texture to the page (the eyes always feast first, so you want them to be excited about what you are about to consume. This applies to both foods and literature). If it looks easy to read, people will be more likely to read it with an open mind. I am very excited to see where this storybook goes!
Hello Clay,
ReplyDeleteFirst, I have to say that the header pic on your introduction page is pretty cool! I just read your intro here and I'm really digging the direction you're wanting to go with your storybook! I'm going in a very similar route with mine, in that I'm also telling sort of side-quests or bonus tales, but from the Odyssey. I wonder if they could squeeze another Pirates of the Caribbean movie out of ole Johnny Depp? It's funny how we all want just one more scene, page, picture, etc. from our favorite works of art! Are you going to create entirely new scenes or pick up from where certain movies left off? If you're pretty familiar with one specific movie, you could also do like a "lost scenes" kinda deal where there's a small story between events in the movie.
Also, I would recommend copying/pasting your introduction into a google doc and checking for spelling and grammar.
Hi Clay! I love the idea of this Storybook! The tone of your Introduction really makes it feel like your website is the beginning of an ancient book of pirate stories that has only recently been discovered. The pictures that you included only deepen the intensity of your Introduction and capture my attention. I also really liked the rhetorical questions that you asked about what monsters Jack Sparrow might have faced--it really got me thinking about the possibilities. One question that I have after reading the Introduction is: of all the hypothetical monsters that you mentioned there, are any of them the ones that you will be writing about in the other Storybook pages? I was also a little confused when you said, "While Captain Jack has faced Davy Jones' Locker before at the hands of one of these beasts." It has been a little while since I've seen the movies--to which monster are you referring? One suggestion that I have might be to make that clearer to your readers in your wording.
ReplyDeleteDang, dude. I used to love Pirate's of the Caribbean. I dressed up as Jack Sparrow for Halloween one year when I was younger. I looked like a woman (I'm a guy). You can go pretty much anywhere with these stories. You already seem to have some ideas based on your introduction. Go out and write them now! I'm not trying to make this assignment go by faster, but I keep clicking on storybooks with only the introduction! Talk about a time saver. I also want to read, though...
ReplyDeleteIn your second sentence listing off all Jack's adventures, you should put comma and before the last item in the list. It would sound better imo. Your question starting with "What if" currently ends in a period instead of a question mark.
I gotta say, you are great at selecting images! They all look so cool. The eye under the water, the whole creature under the island, and Jack himself. All classic and fit your tone perfectly. Get writing, sailor!
Hi Clay,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your introduction, and I cannot wait to hear more. I still think The Pirates of the Caribbean movies are as hilarious as I thought they were when I was younger. You leave a lot to the imagination which I think is good. The audience is left thinking what encounters Jack will have in this adaptation of your story. I wonder if you are intending for this to be a more serious role for Jack Sparrow or keep it in line with how he is portrayed in the movies? Perhaps, you could even go the other route and make it way more serious than the films? Maybe you could make it to where he is only after great wealth and decides to drop the idea of the fountain of youth? Either way, it seems to me there is a lot to work with. I am looking forward to reading more of your storybook as we draw closer to the end of the semester!
Clay,
ReplyDeleteWow! You really got me intrigued now for what is to come! I was sad that you didn't already have a first story on your page because I was so excited to flip the page and see what was next. I think your introduction was great and very creative. I love the idea of these untold stories circulating with other pirates for years but are now hitting the media! How did the stories start becoming known? Are you keeping the same characters/elements from the movies the same in your story? I am pumped to find out what's to come! The only suggestion I have currently would be when you are writing your stories, make it to where people who haven't seen the movies can still follow along. I don't know if you are keeping the same elements from the movie but just make sure people who haven't seen the film can still read, understand, and enjoy your stories!!
Hello,
ReplyDeleteI was drawn to your story after I clicked it and realized that it was about Captin Jack Sparrow. I have also LOVED the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Also, the picture that you have chosen for your home page and the introduction is really cool and helps draw the reader into your story. After reading your introduction I was ready to go onto the first story just to see you did not have one. Because of this, I am very excited to come back just to continue to see what stories you will write about Captain jack Sparrow. I love how in your introduction you ask different questions to the reader. By doing this, it really helps the reader imagine all the different things that are going to happen. It also makes one want the story to never end because it kind of keeps you on the edge of your seat. Great job on your introduction!
Hi Clay,
ReplyDeleteI love that you chose to tell your stories through the guise of Captain Jack Sparrow! He is such an excellent well written character and I think your idea is so fun. I think that highlighting his stories as a sort of untold, unexpressed, adventure is a great way to set up your storybook! I wonder what kind of stories you will tell throughout this storybook! I love how you told this introduction as if someone were listening to captain Jack Sparrow telling them himself to a group of people at a bar or something like that. It definitely incapsulates the reader and you did a great job of highlighting his personality in this. I will definitely pop back in to see what stories you have told later on in this semester!
Hi Clay!
ReplyDeleteI like how you said that Captain Jack Sparrow was a childhood hero – I feel like that statement is definitely a hot take. While I didn't consider him to be a hero of mine while I was growing up, I did really enjoy all of the movies I watched while I was younger. I like how you are choosing to tell stories from his perspective that were unknown to us in the modern world but have made their way around pirate circles. I'm looking forward to seeing the types of stories you write – what type of voice you choose to write in and what the stories will focus on. I haven't thought about him as a character in a while now, as his character seems to be something of the past, but I'm excited to see what you write about to hopefully get my interest back, like you said! Good luck!
Hi Clay, good job with your storybook so far! Jack Sparrow is such a fun character to use for this project. I like that your introduction included snapshots of what stories will come in the following stories. I thought the first story was hilarious, and it fit Jack Sparrow's character pretty accurate too. The "meeting" with his bottle of rum that ran longer than expected was really funny. The sea creature the ship encountered sounded really interesting, and I was curious to know more about the original source, so maybe include some more information about that in your author's note. I was a little confused by the titles "Follow the Stars" and "A New Beginning" on that page since they didn't seem to match the story, but they did make it unpredictable like you said you were aiming for in the author's note. I noticed a few misspellings, so be sure to use a spellchecker. Overall good job—I'm excited to see what you write next!
ReplyDeleteHi Clay!
ReplyDeleteI am also a fan of Jack Sparrow. You have a great writing style and were able to paint a picture for the reader, which made your story really enjoyable! I would suggest using a spell checker as "trunk" was misspelled in the story and "ancient" was misspelled in the author's note. I had never heard of this sea creature! My project is based on hybrid creatures, so it is fun for me to hear about other hybrid creatures that I was unaware of. It is pretty scary looking! Your image was helpful in picturing what this creature looked like. What did being close to the land have to do with the story? Is this creature known to lurk closer to shore? Why didn't the crew feel the thumps? Those are a couple questions I cam away with. I like that the story ended with a kind of cliffhanger. It makes me want to hear more! Great job, I am excited to see what Jack Sparrow does next!
Hey Clay,
ReplyDeleteI have only seen bits and pieces of Pirates of the Caribbean but Jack Sparrow is a very memorable character. From what I can remember you've done a good job stylistically portraying him in your own way. This week we are focusing on images in regard to your project. Specifically, how the images add to the reader experience. On your home page I think you picked a great image to exemplify The Untold Tales of Captain Jack Sparrow. I think the image is interesting and for those with even a little background of Jack Sparrow can understand the theme. I think your introduction does this well, what better way to portray him them throwing in an image of him himself. Though, I do think you could benefit from using a different header for each of your stories. I think its a great way to introduce more images and add to the theme of your stories.
Hi Clay,
ReplyDeleteI like the banner image, have you considered changing it up with each story? You could maybe make it feature more into the theme of what is going on in each one. The idea of writing about Jack Sparrow is interesting. Did you know that a children’s book series had a similar idea? I used to read them as a kid. They were a sort of prequel series, focusing on an adolescent Jack Sparrow, before he was a pirate. The golden age of piracy was a childhood fascination of mine, so reading this was fun. Your first story seems interesting so far, especially the land in the distance. Will they make it, or will the elephant fish drag them off course? If they make it to the island, will they have a Treasure Island type of adventure, looking for buried treasure from a famous pirate of the past? That could be fun, but it’s pirates, every adventure with them is fun.
Hey Clay! I really like this story! I'm a huge Disney fan and love all of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, so it's cool to see someone do a storybook about Jack Sparrow. I also appreciate that you are using unknown sea monsters in your storybook. It makes for a very interesting story. Maybe shedding more light on what stories you got the creatures from might help? It can help the reader have a point of reference and keep up with the story better. Also, there was a time where you spelled "cherish" wrong. Other than those two things this story is great! Thank you for sharing such a great story! I can't wait to read more about the tales of Captain Jack Sparrow!
ReplyDeleteHey Clay, great story! I loved watching the Pirates of the Caribbean series as a kid, so it was exciting to see that you'd written stories in the same universe! Your introduction did a good job of setting the premise that there was more than previously known about the adventures of Jack Sparrow, which led me to believe that there were more interesting stories to come about his adventures on the sea. Your story carried the same comedic tone that the movies held which was refreshing to see again after a long time. The internal dialogue Jack had was done perfectly in my opinion. The beginning of the story was set up and felt like the beginning of another classic Jack Sparrow adventure, with the Elephant Fish being just another wild antagonist for Jack to defeat. I think the transition from Jack drinking and passing out and then hitting land 2 days later was fairly abrupt, and could have been written in a smoother manner. It felt very rushed in terms of the story progression.
ReplyDeleteClay,
ReplyDeleteI really liked reading your introduction and was eager to return back to your storybook to see if you had added any new stories! I thought your introduction was great and really built up Captain Jack Sparrow as a character. I also loved reading your first story! I liked how the thoughts and dialogue are unique in the sense of portraying pirates. It makes the reader feel more like they are in the story along with the characters. I wonder what is going to happen now that Captain Jack Sparrow and the elephant fish are left alone together. Will he be able to take down the creature? Will his crew come of conscious mind to be able to assist him? You did have a few spelling errors in your first story such as "charishing" and "emurged." However, these can easily be fixed with a spell checker. Overall, I loved the story and am excited to see what will happen next!
Hey Clay!
ReplyDeleteI’m from the Indian Epic class, and this story was so interesting! I’m a big fan of the Pirates of the Caribbean series. I think I have watched the series a million times! It was so creative of you to write a story about what we did not know of Jack Sparrow’s life. Your story really fits his characters and mannerisms.
What I could suggest to you is to add a little more details about the Elephant Fish like for example, what’s the origin country of the legends or what was its purpose etc. It could be easier for the people who haven’t read anything about it to understand why you choose that specific monster. Even if it’s easy to assume you chose it because it’s a sea creature, and it fits the Pirates of the Caribbean universe.
Your website is clear and easy to navigate.
Thanks for your story!
Hi Clay! I thought this was a super entertaining story! What an awesome, clever idea combining a character so many people like with lore-monsters that 'he could have faced behind the scenes.' Super great idea, and the way you have presented it is humorous and fun to read, too. Might I suggest plugging the elephant fish story into google docs and doing a spelling/grammar check? There were a few minor errors and I think it would flow better :-) It would also be awesome if you briefly explained the elephant fish story in the author's note for those of us who have never read or heard of it. I can't wait to read your next stories. This one had me actually laughing!
ReplyDeleteHello Clay!
ReplyDeleteI think it is wonderful that you chose to tell stories of Jack Sparrow. There are so many adventures you can wrote about. After reading your introduction, I was super excited to read your story. I always enjoy a good tale from the sea. The character building in your story is great. You get a good sense of Jack's drinking problem and the confusion of his shipmates. One suggestion I have would be to give more descriptions of the ship and its crew. This is a solid story and I am excited to read more! Great Job!
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